The World as I see it.

I was at a friend’s this weekend and just happened to notice his music collection. As I was looking at a particular CD of his, he told me he listens to “Classical Music” every weekend to unwind. There was something about the way he said Classical Music that I found offensive. By looking at him as he said it, there was some pride he obviously attached to the fact that he listens to classical music.  I was angry for very personal reasons. I asked what Classical Music was - just to justify the not-so-nice things I was feeling at the time - and he said it was the most civilized genre of music. I was surprised at his answer for it proved ignorance on a higher scale than I expected. From him I was expecting a more sensible definition. Something more like the very particular genre of music related to or originating from the ancient Greeks and Romans. Just like Classics as a discipline covers the History, Literature, Architecture and yes - you guessed - and a particular composition of music of the ancient Greeks and Romans.  Music of this kind is called Classical Music. Obviously to him, Classical means best. If to him music by Ludwig Van Beethoven, Jacques Offenbach, Antonio Salieri, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, John Adams and Frederic Chopin is the best - I beg to differ.

Below is my Classical Music

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 I took this shot at Clapham Junction yesterday. Notice how all objects in the background are blurred while the target remains focused!!

I must be slacking.

I just read my recent posts and thought what crap.

I need to step up – at least to something one with half a brain will find interesting.

Stay tuned.

I had a really bad week this week and the only thing that saved me was positive thinking. Words are very good at explaining things but never exact at conveying the essence of the real thing – not even close. Having an issue play on your mind – night and day – can be a killer. You can’t sleep, you can’t smile, you can’t eat, you can’t play, you can’t read, you can’t listen, you can’t relax, you can’t have fun in fact you cant do all the things that you normally do with ease. But you have to live. You have to go on living as if it was business as usual. After all, there you are and over there is the war zone. You still have a job, a roof over your head, an assurance of 3 square [meals] a day, a girlfriend/wife/whatever, full use of 4 limbs, fully functioning organs while others are out there - dying. After that thought, I just knew that even going on about this is pathetic. At times like this I wished I could switch to happiness at the snap of a finger. If only. As everyone who has gone through one of those episodes, the feeling sticks around like an irritating shadow.

At work recently, I went to hell. It came to my knowledge that I was in the thick of some shit.  I will face the music next week. Do I let the anxiety overwhelm me or do I contain it? If so, how so? The thought alone was getting to me. It was beginning to have an impact on my work - over promising, under delivering, demotivated – the lot. The work was just not flowing as it used to. I was not as sharp as I used to be. Also, someone at work was really getting the upper hand in all this.  I just had to swallow it all. I had the option to make a big deal out of it, like getting other people involved, but decided against it and stuck it out. It will get very messy if I choose that route. Give me a few days I said, – and I will be back to normal. In the heat of the moment, I needed help. Men are not supposed to cry remember? Talking to work colleagues was out of the question – I am well past 18. I had to dig deep. A good read never fails me. The only problem was finding “a good read”. Even on good days I wander into bookshops browsing for a good read. This time – I needed it. At times you find yourself wanting a lift-up like a crack addict looking for a quick fix. I gave into my temptation and spent all yesterday evening in the self-help section of my favourite bookshop – Foyle’s at Tottenham Court Road.  I have, to date, read my share of self-help books and even though I should not knock them, some of them are just written for Orwellian proles, Epsilon semi-morons and Huxleian Deltas [those opposed to the philosophy of TH Huxley] blind to the back of their brains. Even in the depths of my sorrows, I refuse to be one. I never touch them these days. The only one I recommend is “Self-Help” by Samuel Smiles. Compared to what they churn out these days, this is the business. Anyone used to the “this or that for dummies” or “how to do this or that in 30 days” should be warned – this is not the usual dimwit dummy waffle. For them it will be like progressing from reading Roald Dahl to James Joyce or like progressing from Stephen Law to Immanuel Kant. Enough said.

Anyway I needed this fix, and I needed to stay fixed. In the end I walked out of the bookshop after looking at a few titles. I managed to convince myself that I didn’t really need a book, I needed to feel good. As I was walking home I started thinking. The first thing that came to my mind was to picture the performance I would put on on the day. The second was to meditate. Meditation as far as I am concerned is just to have time alone locked in deep controlled thoughts. I was deep enough as it was so that did not appeal to me. I started writing this and “Bingo” – I felt better. Every bad thought was just leaving my system like a balloon letting go of trapped gas. It was unbelievable.  I actually saw myself dealing with the situation. Just then, my speech, my excuses, my pitch came rolling down like waters and confidence like a mighty stream.

To switch from anxiety and anger to real calmness and happiness just like that is something that, if only I would master, I would definitely rule the world. I remember when I was younger when I used to be locked in a state of seething anger for days. Now I just write. It was not positive thinking in the end but just plain writing – positive writing [but then again, you need to think to write!!]. If in the next few weeks I do not get my P45, then look forward to reading much more.

 

Whenever I read articles like this, it reveals to me how ordinary I was as a kid. Having said that, I am not too sure I would have wanted to be as bright as Matilda…

Her parents knew Georgia Brown was bright. After all, she could count to ten, recognised her colours and was even starting to dabble with French. But it was only when their bubbly little two-year-old took an IQ test that her towering intellect was confirmed. Georgia has become the youngest female member of Mensa after scoring a genius-rated IQ of 152. This puts her in the same intellectual league, proportionate to her age, as physicist Stephen Hawking.

I believe intelligence is over-rated these days and any display of above-average mental capacity leaves us all in shock and awe. In a sense, we can not be blamed going by the X-factor and Pop-Idol world we now live in, making celebrities out of airheads like Jade goody and Paris Hilton. If only we stopped and thought about it, the 5% of us who are sky-high in terms of mental capacity are like that due to a very simple trick – constant application. The very way we react to such people gives those in that elite group a false sense of superiority and the rest of us a false sense of inferiority. However, even I accept that this Matilda of a girl is a special case; an IQ of 152 aged 2 is something quite staggering by all means. Not only that but…

 She was crawling at five months and walking at nine months. By 14 months, she was getting herself dressed. By 18 months she was having proper conversations,” Mrs Brown said. She would say, ‘Hello I’m Georgia , I’m one’. She was also putting her shoes on and putting them on the right feet.” Georgia was so perceptive that after one outing to the theatre to see Beauty and the Beast she solemnly informed her parents: “I didn’t like Gaston (the villain). He was mean and arrogant.”

Not only could she handle with ease at the age of 2, mental exercises and use words [arrogant] light years ahead of her physical age, physically she is quick as well – crawling, walking, drawing near-perfect circles and putting on her shoes correctly earlier than most of us. Her talents obviously do not lie in the mental realm alone. 

All well and good but one thing still worries me about Matilda. I think the same worry lead her mother [Mrs Brown] to contact Professor Joan Freeman – the education psychologist who put her to the Stamford-Binet Test [IQ] where she scored a staggering 152!! Do not even embarrass yourself by dreaming of doing the same. The obvious worry [for me at least] is how all this “talent” will affect her [Matilda] later in life. There are loads of cases of high IQ kids, loosing the plot later in life and that was all I was looking forward to Professor Freeman to throw light on.  Considering she is a child prodigy expert, I do not expect her not to be aware of this co-relation. If she is aware at least I didn’t see any studies to that effect on her website!!

I will endeavour to keep myself posted.

 

 

I am sure I am not alone [for all those brave enough to admit it] in my failure to understand the concept above. According to Christians, the all powerful creator – GOD - exists as a trinity: the father, the son [Jesus Christ] and the Holy Ghost. I have never met a Christian who has been able to offer a logical explanation for this separation of powers. In fact if God was all powerful, is it that strange to ask why there is a Holy Spirit and a son as well? Instead, I have met scorn and somewhat surprise that I am even questioning the concept’s authenticity. As with all religions, you are expected to accept without asking “basic” questions. Does that not make you wonder what the world would have been like if we accepted “everything” without eliminating our initial doubts. Think about it – the world being flat, earth being at the centre of our universe, physical quantities and properties being absolute and loads more. As far as I am concerned, just as stupid is the belief in an all-powerful God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I speak for myself of course.

Still hot on the trinity trail is the concept – Mind, Body and Soul. Another example of accepting without questioning. I accept the existence of Body. I also accept the existence of Mind but I do not accept the existence of a Soul as well.  Body and Soul or Body and Mind is all there is. Stop and think about it, what is the difference between Mind and Soul?

Explanations will be highly cherished.

I am a good judge of character – that much I know. I am no mother Teresa, Mohandas Gandhi or Dalai Lama myself, but that will not stop me judging other people. I have met so many people and - life willing - I will meet even more. Of the lot I have met so far, the happy people are generally good and the bad – miserable.

Now how do I define happy? By happy, I mean people who are not sad. I mean people who are just happy and positive – no strings attached.  I mean those people, who no matter what they might be going through in private – like the rest of us - they don’t moan about it. And how do I define sad? By sad I mean those people who on the other hand moan about everything.  They are selfish, negative and it takes the world to put a smile on their faces. They are not usually happy with their lot in life and bear grudges against those they consider to be unfairly better off.  As I said, sad.

I find that happy people are in general – good. They see the positive side to everything. They smile more, they laugh more, they say the nicest things, “considering”. They help you when they can without expecting much in return. They forgive and forget more. They attract more people towards themselves because we humans are attracted to this positive quality. I just cannot help myself, but I just love such people. In fact I worship them. On the flip side, they expose themselves to up-to-no-goods to take advantage of their good nature. In a funny way, being taken advantage of is an indication of one’s good nature. Some might think of it as being naïve or stupid, but, I still believe there is an element of pessimisms, negativity even wickedness in always being too cautious. One has to – sometimes - expose one self to the elements before one can conclude with good evidence if one is a genuine favour-seeker or a sad parasite. I have exposed myself to a fair share of “elements” and with very interesting experiences to tell. Recently, I was approached at London Victoria station by a man who claimed to be have lost his wallet and needed £15.00 to get to Gatwick.  I gave it to him without much thought. Luckily for this man, there was no way I could verify the authenticity of his story and I had £15.00 to spare.  I told two friends about it knowing fully well what they would have done had they been in my shoes. One thought it was naïve of me to give away £15.00 just like that, while the other thought I will be rewarded in heaven. To be honest, after writing this, I hope to forget the incident forever. Be this man genuine or not, be me naive or not, it is so insignificant – as insignificant as they come. I have bigger problems to worry about than the authenticity of every Tom Dick and Harry I encounter. And I am happy to carry one like this.

However, there are people who – although they might seem very happy and positive on the outside – are not good. For this bunch of people, their happiness has a smack of pride, affluence, arrogance and comeuppance. Pride, arrogance, exuberance and affluence are not necessarily bad qualities. In fact, I don’t mind being seen to exhibit these qualities but coated with approachability, sincerity, fairness and humility. The sad people I refer to get their happiness from pride and this pride is rooted in the fact that they have something that puts them – in some way - above the Toms, Dicks and Harrys of this world. In effect they see themselves as better than and/or superior to the average Joes. Don’t get me wrong, I am a realist. I am not one of those who preach and expect equality in returns in all human endeavours. I am aware of the basic fact that some always put in more than others. For those that put in more effort, may they be blessed with huge rewards. I for one strive for and always will strive for huge rewards. He who has worked hard and elevated himself to higher economic and social circles cannot be faulted. The people I have problems with are those you see everyday having “made it” in whatever their field develop this attitude of superiority and arrogance. Majority of the people I have met who fall into this category always exaggerate their importance. Always inflate their egos at every opportunity. I always wonder to myself, why - if their stories are true – are they not happier human beings? Why feel the need to say something bad about someone else especially someone less successful?  I wonder how these “little” people bother them so much. I was once talking to a security guard friend of mine and another friend commented on the calibre of friends I keep. How sad for one to chose friends just by job title.  The fact that such a thought even occurred to someone is scary and these are the type of people I am talking about here.  I remember talking a certain friend about an acquaintance who now runs his own business. I will not say that this acquaintance was a friend but I was still very proud of him. This female, being one of the sad types, told me about her friends running their own businesses and earning millions. She even went on to tell me about her own business. Until then I was interested until a realised she had what at best I will call a website of no consequence. Full of big words and big projects with no single live project in the bag. It was just sitting there in cyber-space gathering cyber dust!! Why would she – considering her situation - even feel like putting my acquaintance down? That is the thing I don’t get. I can tell the types by their moves especially when you meet for the first time. They always seem defensive. What gives it away for me is the very firm hand shake, the distance, the fake smile, the body language. I just think they take this professional code of conduct a bit too far. I don’t mind females being wary of me at first, at least they have reason to, but when it’s a man, I feel it says something about the man. I remember again a girl I used to work with. Very ambitious and driven and always looking inch-perfect morning, day and night. She had the looks but was single – for some reason.  I always joked with her saying the man that ends up as her husband will be the luckiest. Then one day, I realised she never talked to our security staff at the time. These security guys were always nice to everybody. I didn’t think anyone would find anything unpleasant about them so I asked this girl why she never spoke to them. She then shocked me by saying she didn’t want to encourage them, “Besides” she said, “I can’t be talking to them”. It is funny, but this is a true story. I am sure everyone reading this is either like this woman and knows a person like her. Also, I think I am just too sensitive in the sense that such incidents always fire me up. People are really messed up. I have been told before that worrying about issues like these will leave me burnt out before my time – I agree.

Anyway, believe it or not, we all are either one or the other to a varying degree. It will not be fair for me to define myself here because I am both judge and jury but I know I am not as bad as some of the people I have described. My point is if people feel they are good, then they should not worry about others. They should not assume the worst in others or always say the worst things about others. I feel deep inside they harbour insecurity and evil that is simply and plainly scary. There is only one exception in my books to wishing another person ill – it is love. It will be very stupid to expect a jilted person to wish the best to a love interest.  It should be discouraged at all costs but it is almost above man to be positive in such situations. It’s like expecting the bereaved not to cry or like expecting the wounded not to feel pain. I have heard funny stories about crimes of passion and the likes. Every single one of them I can understand and will excuse them here after all some have said – and I agree – loving and hating are the same thing. In love you do the best things and in hate you do the worst. Another topic all together but some get my drift.

To me, a true sign of good in people is happiness and the best wishes to all men. How hard is that?